Hi all,
Oh well, it’s been quite a pretty long time since i blogged. The last time was September 5th 2007. And it’s November 20th 2007 now. Anyway, thank you Rosanne for your comment and to my older brother. Thanks for the reminder but i will only blog when i find the meanings of life.
Okay here i go.
I don’t know where to start off but i guess i’ll start with family followed by friends, work, strangers, love, suffering and lastly, graduation night yesterday.
Well well, family eh…last time i guess i was immature. I thought everyone don’t like me. I thought i was useless but now, i think differently. I look at my family. I see my Dad, Mum, Sister, Brother and lastly, me. I look at our sizes. I think i look the biggest of them all but when it came to using the brain and work. I started to think, gee man. My brother and sister are studying Polytechnics now. My dad works very hard. Mum knows how to fix computer but what do i know? I does feel a little depressed but on one night, something happened. That night…now to think of it. I want to thank my siblings very much. I’m a teenager but i guess i cried that night thinking that my siblings are always higher and greater than me, so are everyone around me. I told them. They were very tired but they talked me through my problems. Told me what’s going on with me. They told me that i’m not useless. I can make it if i want to. That night, everything in my life changed. So ya…Now i guess i’m little more mature. Now my mindset is that, I may not go to Polytechnic but i can still make it in ITE( Institute of Technical Education). My siblings study business. I going to study more on handwork stuffs. I’ll bear all the difficulties they have for technical problems. I’m going to learn to fix many stuffs. Recently, i’ve been working, my dad taught me that life isn’t easy and people won’t give way to us. You got to fight for everything. My siblings taught me to be independent. My mummy supported me and was always there for me whenever everyone’s busy. My brother always want to play games with me just like old days. Sister dotes on me so much just like my mummy. Daddy’s like my teacher to me. Teach me the meaning of many times and to do many things people need to pay to learn. I don’t know what to say anymore on this. So ya, no matter what, Family’s first. My family taught me that. When it comes to problems, find your parents. I’ll always be willing to suffer for my family. Daddy, Mummy, Sister and Brother. Best in the world. The understanding here is that, family is what will always be part of you forever, even after death.
Now about Friends.
Okay this topic might be a little insulting to certain people. Friends can bring joy to you but they can bring trouble to you also. Not showing off or anything. Back in school, everyone knew who i was. I admit i wasn’t that of a ‘good’ boy or what. I did make trouble but never caught before. Not the worse kind of trouble though. Maybe skip class and go play basketball? Even during ‘N’ levels, i skip class. Heh heh. Oh well, teachers see me and my friends, never catch. I guess they know that we’re sec 4s and don’t bother anymore. Hahaha. Oh well. My friends and me sure enjoy a lot but when it came to eating, sometimes they would ask if i would treat them to eat or stuffs. Of course sometimes i told them that i no money or don’t want treat then they like not happy a little bit lah. Oh well, there’s great difference between family and friends. Family will always support you. Sometimes friends betray you. Some get near you just to harm you cause the more a person understands you, the more it’s easier for them to harm you. Some want to get near you for money. Some are for the worse case. Some get near you to molest you. Not being pervertic. I’ve seen such cases. Oh well. No matter what happens, when it comes to money. They will betray you quietly and take a knife to stab you in the back. Oh well, no offence to girls. Nowadays, girls think that guys go near that, it’s normal. They start pulling their hair. Slowly, they start touching here and there and so many people think they’re just PLAYING. Nah, think twice. Try feeling how it feels. Disgusting. Okay, i stop here for this. Anyway, friends, anyone that gives me respect, will get it from me too. Of course to me, everyone is fair be it how close we are. In any case, i want to thank my friend, Jerome, Jie wei, Jason, Nicholas and siblings, Zheng yu and cousin, Victor and Yong Sheng. The understanding here is that, friends can help you only to a certain limit, not more than money situations, they’ll run their ass off.
Work!!!
Yes yes, my favourite. Please don’t ask me what i work as or where i work. I will not expose it under any conditions. Oh well, it’s tough working but to me it’s fun. I carry stuffs that are heavy but in the end, i got strength. I’m fat. I think that fats are okay for me, for now cause i’m still young. I looked at my father. I want to be like him. He works hard for my family. He spends everything on my FAMILY. FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY. They’re the best! ^^ haha. How interesting life can be when it comes to my family. I guess my english sucks cause i keep saying Oh well. Oh well, haha, somtimes i told my dad about how my work day is. And of course my siblings. Sometimes when i go out and work. I get scolded. Stupid, dumb, big size no use but i treated it as dogs barking because i’m learning from my mistakes. It’s like so fun seeing idiots scolding me. I know one day i’ll be far greater and more smart than them. I learn to tolerate. Oh yes yes, i realize recently that if i’m pissed when people scold me, not showing off again ah….i realize my strength will increase by at least x 2 the amount i have or more. I guess it’s how people mood change the way they react and stuffs. Hahaha, okay, recently, i talked to a friends called Celine. She’s working too, she told me that her boss scolded her and stuffs. She said if you want to get the money, you got to tolerate. That’s one thing i learn also. If you should scold back, you will get sacked. Lose money $$. I’ll stop here for this. Hehe. The understanding here is that, when it comes to work, no one gives a damn about you because when you work, it’s all about money and time. When you get injure it’s your problem, not theirs.
Okay, now strangers
You may find that it’s weird of me posting this but i do find it weird if i think too much on this. Okay here’s the thing. You walk pass a lot of people a day. Sometimes you talk about this person who cause you trouble to someone else, that someone else tells other people about it, and it spreads till it might be even you that cause the trouble. And sometimes, when you injure someone, you might think it’s fine when the person’s fine for now but later, the person might even die of that injury and you don’t even know. What i’m trying to say is, no matter what, you’ll always be part of a person life even if you’re a stranger. You may cause him or her trouble, maybe you helped him or her before too. I think this have no meaning to you guys but if you really get it, you’ll get confuse with life. The understanding here is that strangers might even be someone suppose to be close to you or even your worse enemy in the future. Who knows?
Okay, now love.
Some people might think this is the most interesting part but to me, it’s getting more and more boring.
Okay, my brother hated my ex…hahaha, Never mind about that. They meant me well also. Love can bring trouble and joy to you. When it comes to joy, it’s like, the girl or guy give you what you really want. I don’t know how to explain it. In love relationship, couples must understand each other feelings and wants. If a person misses misses the partner too much, must be there for him/her. It’s quite troublesome at times so it’s best to be at least above 18 to start a relationship because parents will release more freedom during that period of age. I can’t comfirm that. I think that my parents have been understanding. I guess i really deserve the pain at times. I didn’t listen to them. My brother and sister are smart. Brother want to wait after NS, then after work, i guess he’ll start finding. Hopefully. I hope my sister bf treats her like the queen of the world. Anyway, i’ve seen many case of love, some people crash on other girl when on a relationship. Unfaithful ones. Some of them woo by many boys. Some of them, bf or gf treat them unfairly to friends. Some flirt with girls or boys, the other party cannot stand it. Many funny cases of life. Trust in fate i can say. Love is given because after the age 20, another person you can trust stands by your side and you both will support each other. You can choose not to love anyone but think about it, won’t it be boring being alone? No husband or wife, no kids. Right, dai kor? Oh well, the hurt that you feel is horrible. Trust me. When a person neglects you, talks to many other people more than you. That feeling hurts. There’s more though, like forcing you to do stuffs. Report to him/her every second etc. I find that there’s no need for you to be scare to give up if you find that you feel like giving up. There’s no fear in losing someone when you think you’re drifting apart. If you find that, you’ll feel very sad and lonely, you’ve got friends beside you. They’ll be by your side 24/7. Trust me. Those are true, good friends. If you think i’m wrong about giving up when you think you’ll feel sad, let me ask you a question. Is it better to feel the pain and it slowly fades away or you want to feel the pain forever? It’s just a matter or time till you relationship end anyway. Love’s unconditional. Love someone for who she/he is, not what you want from him/her. If their character changes cause of you, they’re not special anymore because when you love someone, you change his attitude and character, he/her is not special anymore. They’ll turn into what you want, not what they really are. Okay okay, i’ll stop here. The understanding of this is that if you think that you need love, try it. Just a word of advice, You don’t want to. Till you’re older. Whatmore, i don’t think people are quite mature nowadays to build a good relationship for love.
Suffering…hmm
Okay, suffering. Sounds like pain. To me, suffering is what i want and i like to learn from it. If hurts but you’ll learn for the rest of your life. If you learn to suffer, there won’t be much trouble for you because you know how it feels like and you know how to handle the situation. Torture, pain, suffering. These are where you learn the most. Trust me. Now i’m having cough, i learn that i shouldn’t eat chocolate at night and not too much also. PLUS! I learn to eat chili because the hotness ease my pain at the throat. hahaha. Okay. The understanding of this is that life can be happy and joyful. Sufferings are just part of it. Always think positive no matter what situation you are in.
Graduation night
Yesterday, i went to my graduation night at Glassroot Club. It kinda suck because express people are like the spotlight. Me and my classmates are sitting at the back. No one gives a damn about us. Oh well, I shook hand with my teacher and gave him a ‘hug’ LOL. Oh well, we’re all growing up. Those malays and indians in my class are still fucked up though. Indian boys that play around too much. One malay girl that scold disgusting vulgurs. There’s no understanding to this. haha. Just that I wanna thank my teachers. 4 years. How fast they are indeed. Now i’m going to ITE.
Thank you for reading.
From,
Defcon
And Loves to,
Dad, Mum, Older brother Gyver, Older sister Lena and maybe in the future, Si Lei too. Family forever. There’s where joy came into my life. Thanks.
Sorry for my poor english too. Sorry Dai kor, i know my english still lao ya. I try to make it better in the future. Now, NFS : PS!
Take care to all.
